One of the more interesting characters that I work with is LM. At first glance, he appears to be terribly severe, stoic, bespectacled 50-something male, with black hair and a Magnum mustache. His most arresting features are his enormous, slightly tilted, lashy green eyes which are sadly obscured by his thick glasses. The first time I was graced with their full impact I caught him walking down the hall and he stopped to discuss something with me. While he was talking he pulled off his glasses and started to clean them on his lab coat; as he glanced back up at me I almost fell out. It was like walking straight into a brick wall 'cuz you weren't looking. BANG! I have never seen eyes like that.
He brushes his teeth in the staff bathroom every day after lunch at precisely quarter of one, flushes the toilet twice and obsesses over his patient schedule. Late? Early? No Show? Why? (How the hell do I know?) He's also quick witted, socially graceful and has a quiet, slightly self effacing pride which is unusual in someone who's been so successful in life. He's something of a celebrity in his field and is known far and wide for his brilliance and bad temper. He's too intuitive to be deliberately cruel but has been know to walk abruptly out of an exam room, telling the patient the he "needs to take a break."
He's conscious of his age, although I don't believe he wants to be younger, I think it's more that he doesn't want anyone to think of him as old. He's going through a divorce. He tries to be casually cool but it comes off flat, he's in his full glory when he's just being himself. Did I mention that he's intensely sensitive to sound? You can make him jump 10 feet in the air just by knocking on his door. Chronically complains about his teeth? Back? Once made a colostemy patient lay on their stomach for an hour while he excised a skin cancer because it was more comfortable for him to do the surgery that way? Did you know that colostemy patient have a tube fed through a permanent hole in their side when all the shit is funneled out into a bag? Who do you think should be more comfortable? We were all praying the bag would pop and spill all over LM's shoes. Spelled a nurse's name wrong on her Christmas card that he had been working with for over a year and then laughed about it when I told him? Has a picture my daughter drew for him taped to the back of his office door? He's constantly fascinating and disappointing all in the same package. Do you know anyone like that?
