Working in the medical field is something you need to be cut out for. Sometimes I think it's like being a cop, but instead of dispensing justice, I dispense aspirin and patience worn thin by repeated requests to use the bathroom and patients who think that their needs are more important than anyone else's in the room. One of the highlights of my job is drug testing, which is the source of much amusement throughout the clinic. You wouldn't believe how many people get "stuck in a room with other people smoking pot" roughly "sometime last month".
Apparently no one smokes pot anymore, but instead are victimized by a small, rabid group of potheads, who, if you're not very careful, will lock you in a small, airless space with them and light up.
*newsflash*
I don't care. I don't care if you snort powdered rhino piss, while taking a flying fuck on a rolling doughnut to the moon; but please don't blow smoke up my ass. Please don't hand me cold piss either, then tell me that the bus ride over was really chilly; or give me a urine sample that has more head than draft beer and exudes an unnatural smell. Don't stand there and look me straight in the eye and feed me some crazy line of bullshit, (like you just loooove poppy seeds) that wouldn't fool an imbecile.
Be an adult, say "This job/ probation/ custody hearing is important to me, but not so important that I didn't sample that killer weed/pills/meth/rolls that came my way last night/week/month. So, am I fucked or what?" I might just weep with gratitude, that I don't have to stand there, look you in the eye with a steaming pile of bullshit between us and answer your not-so-subtle questions with a straight face.
Take responsibility for your bad behavior! Own it. Stop running. Admit that you made a bad choice, that you might have some self-destructive behaviors that need closer inspection. How can we see ourselves if we never stand still long enough to look?
