I send out emails like this to the other nurses just to fuck with their flow:
Subject: Bad Ners topic du jour
Wut r they and wut doo we doo ab-out them? Y don't the pashuntz jest squeez them out? Yukee.
2. Combeedones xtrakshuns:
Yuk. Wut iz ther two doo with theez nastee thingz? Dermeetologiztz r nastee too. They r big dumb pimpl poperz.
Gag me with a spoone!! Bugz r yukee! Scaebee cleen up cru dooty goz too the bad ners uf the munth!
This one was sent out to the nurses when one of the doctors was pissing me off by pinching equipment out of one of my exam rooms:
pleez stop taking my sisors. u r mayking me mad. u do not wunt to sea me mad becuz i will doo verry bad thingz two u. i will tell ur wif u tuchd me innaproppreeateli and then i wil hyd ur glassez. haha
This was sent to my side-kick Sara when her Dr. snipped at me in the surgery room for distracting her during surgery, even though *she was the one talking to me*. Bastard:
unly bad nerss git diztrractud in sergeri u bad ners! ur doktur is a big dum pimpl poppur and duznt no his ners is so bad so he blamz it on gud ners terra!
ther iz no gud ners terra that i no uf.yu r a bad ners, tha doktur sed so. yu distrak mee. i wunted tu tell yu wen yu wer in the sergery rume that yu r a bad bad bad bad ners. butt i didunt wunt two say in frunt uf the payshunt four confudensheealtiy rezons.
This stuff makes me laugh so hard I cry. As you can see, our patients get top quality care from incredibly serious and dedicated nurses...